deviationz .LOG

I finally got pulled over. And I say finally because there have been a few occasions when I have gone 10 mph or more over the speed limit, done rolling stop at stop signs etc. But yesterday I had the last laugh, and got pulled over. It is a back street that I usually take to beat the traffic. It passes through a ghetto, and usually there is very light traffic. I do a rolling stop at the stop sign, make a left turn, and immediately I see a cop car facing me parked on the left about 100 yards away. I thought some thing bad must have happened. I see a lady cop talking to a woman (??) inside a pulled over SUV. And as I pass the cop and the SUV, another burly cop waves me to pull over. I thought I got pulled over for passing the pulled over SUV. So I put my car on park and decide not to utter a word. The cop walks to me and asks me for the license and registration. He looks over it and says, “Show these to the young lady”. As he finishes, the lady cop (in her late 20’s or early 30’s) walks to the driver side window and looks over my license. The ensuing conversation is thus: [the word “nice” is used a lot, but you will see why]

Nice Lady cop - Do you know why I pulled you over ?
Me - [Calm and composed] No , ma’am, I do not.
Nice Lady cop - You made a rolling stop [I knew what that meant], which means you did not come to a complete stop at the sign. In the state of Florida, that is against the law. Is the vehicle registered in your name?
Me - Uh, yes, ma’am [and I try to thumb through my papers to get my registration card, but could not find it].

As I am trying to find my papers in vain, she says some magic words
Nice Lady cop - How about I let you go? You seem very cooperative. Make sure you don’t do it again.
Me - [excited, stunned, surprised] Yes, ma’am, thank you.

Maybe not all cops give you a hard time. May she live a very happy life. My first interaction with a cop here did not turn sour. Yippeee

Update : Now that I think of it, maybe she called me “very cooperative” probably because the woman in the other SUV not only did a rolling stop, but also was not cooperating. I just could not resist taking a dig at women drivers, even though there is very little chance that the lady was not cooperating with the cop.

Not many in the world [and by that I mean outside the United States of America] know what the Superbowl is. Even though American Football is played in other countries outside the USA, only local teams compete in the finale. It is somehow not right to call superbowl winners as the “World Champions”. Come on, for crying out aloud.

Sidetrack -
The above reminds me of this funny incident that happened when I was studying in the X std. in Chennai. Back then, there were 3 options for second language [Tamil, Hindi and French]. Our class had mostly Hindi and French students and only ONE Tamil student [my buddies would remember Abdul]. Every subject had a class topper back then [it did not seem stupid back then], and all of us from our class did fight for Abdul to get a class topper badge even though he was the only one in the class taking Tamil and he never had competition :).

This is a continuation of the previous post about why women drivers are lethal and why men are only dangerous. This is my view on things and in the interest of keeping things real, I am not going to exaggerate anything.

Reason # 1
Women in general are bad when it comes to direction or a sense of it. Men (and by which I mean married) can be heard cribbing about how their wives can’t take a simple direction to get to a place. Men are generally better to get back on track even if they miss an exit, but women are not. And they know it. Now you may be thinking as to why it makes them bad drivers. Hang on, it gets better. If men miss an exit, they take the wrong exit, swing around the underpass and get back to the expressway. Sure, it loses them some time, but they make it up by speeding (you think I don’t do it??). But women on the other hand, swing right back onto the expressway half way through taking the exit. Imagine the predicament of someone driving 70 mph on an expressway, getting a slight glimpse of a woman (85% of the time it happens) trying to get back on the expressway. Slam on your brakes, get out of her way or do something unreal to get out of her way. It has happened to me more than once, and strangely, all the times the woman was not on a cell phone. So they are DANGEROUS period.

Reason # 2
Women generally pay more attention to their conversation than men do. Men need to learn to listen more. For men, it is a good thing to do on the road, but not when your wife or girlfriend is telling you something important and you care little. Women, being more attentive and engrossed in conversation, are LETHAL when they are on the cellphone. It is true that men who cause accidents do it at 90 mph and women who cause accidents do it at 20 mph or even when getting out of a parking lot. Yes, I did see one happen right in front of my eyes. Let me see if I can paint an accurate picture of the when, where and how.

When and where: Last Sunday at the Falls Shopping Center in Miami.
How and a preview: A 25-28 year old hot looking woman driving what looked like a 1998-99 Nissan Maxima, and of course, on her cellphone. I am following her out of a parking lot. To get out of the parking lot, you need to make a right first, and then head to a two way stop and then left or right depending on where you want to go. Remember, it is a two way stop, which means traffic running E-W need not stop. Since it is inside a shopping mall, the speed limit is only 25 mph. A brand new ‘06 Accord is heading towards the east as shown. This lady who is right in front of me, makes the first right, heads to the stop sign, stops obediently, looks to the right only and then heads out. The accord in the meanwhile sensing that she might not wait for him comes to a stand still, even though he did not have to, at the spot shown in the sketch [roughly at least]. In the meanwhile, I was behind the bad driver and could only see it happening. The driver in the Accord almost gestured to her, but she was not looking and “bam” she rams into his front right bumper. All I could do was to laugh at this, but the expression on the Accord driver’s face was priceless [in a bad way of course].

Reason # 3
Men, in general, do not care about their appearance. However, women are super conscious of the way they look. Again, in general. I am an early bird and leave for work at 6.15 ish in the morning. There are not many cars on the road at the time and it is dark and you need lights while driving. There are numerous stop lights on the road I take before I hit the expressway. Every morning, I see 90% of the women drivers flip their vanity mirrors in their cars and do their make up at the stop signs. Sometimes, they are so engrossed in covering their facial defects that they hold up traffic. So much so that people have to honk to get their attention to the fact that the light turned green 30 seconds back. Grrrr. What makes it funnier is that most often their make-up is not complete as they head out of the stop light. Guess what ??? They continue to do their make up with half a hand on the wheel and the remaining with their brushes, powders and god knows what else. Poor drivers around them have to be super careful to make sure they don’t get hit by her. Men, sometimes, are not so good either. They have to fooking read their newspapers as they drive. Are you fooking insane????

So, all you people on the road [men, women and gays], watch out for those women on the cellphones, and the ones with their vanity mirrors open. Phew, it can be harrowing on the road with them.

Random Fact - Women (over 17 years of age) pay 30% less insurances than men do. Wonder why???

Women drivers - dangerous
Women drivers on a cell phone - LETHAL

Men can comment on this, women excuse. Women are better off sitting on the passenger side and give us drivers a better chance to see them as we pass their cars. Reasons why I hate women drivers will be on here soon.